Define "chronic" masturbator.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize