What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I party with great urgency now.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
