Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
thus making me awesome and them whores
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
