If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
