She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
