Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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