My cat gives me a boner
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
