You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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