okay pat passed out under dana's car
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Hippo gnu deer
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
