Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
