dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
