you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
