there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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