Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
