Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
