do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
