dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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