the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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