hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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