If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
