Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
