Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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