I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
