Apparently you make a good broom.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Randomize
