Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
