If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize