How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
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