Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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