Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
