Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
