so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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