This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
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