if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
