I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
