return my video game
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Randomize
