He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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