roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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