Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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