my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
