On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
