just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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