you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
