with your own penis?
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
