If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
