Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
