i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
So squirting runs in the family.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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