Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize