just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
