Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
