I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
