Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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