My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
