Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I could make wine with my vomit
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
