I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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