Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
