either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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