Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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