I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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