oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
